| Location | Garden Grove, California |
| Age | 41 years |
| Date of Birth | 09/07/1967 |
| Date of Death | 29/12/2008 |
| Visitors | 1,815 since 31/12/2008 |
| Creator |
Nels.. An amazing person and against all odds, enjoyed life to the fullest. He loved everyone
around him and treated everyone like gold. He will be missed very much and left us way too soon..
He is our shining star now and will always be remembered and loved for all that he is... Thank you
for letting us into your life and into your heart. RIP Dear Friend!!
"We weren't prepared for you to go
You were too full of life to be
Taken away from us so soon
It's still hard to believe
How much we'll miss your smile
And your laughter in our ears
Your absence leaves a hole in us
We're filling with our tears
You taught us how to be our best
To in the moment live
To never hold a grudge for long
And loyal friendship give
Your presence was a light and joy
We never realized would someday end
Just like the brilliant falling star
That curved 'round heaven's bend..."
A million times we've needed you,
A million times we've cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.
If all the world was ours to give,
We would give it yes, and more,
To see you coming up the steps,
And walking through the door.
To hear your voice and see your smile,
To sit and talk a while,
To be with you that same old way,
Would be our fondest day.
A heart of gold stopped beating,
Two smiling eyes closed to rest,
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best.
Love,
Edie, Jason, Mike & Stacy
I couldn't have said it better myself...
There are no words
that could possibly describe
the love I feel for you
so deeply inside…
There is no Heaven
I would ever want to be in
Than in your eyes
Swimming in your love for me…
The only thing
That I have to give
Is my soul and my love so true…
Forever and always
Just doesn’t sound right
But I am yours
Everyday and Everynight
There is nothing I would rather do
Than spend all my time waiting for you…
Poetry and Artwork by Lealy…
Loving you...
“You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what he'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
by David Harkin
The kind of Love you were....
“You were a guy who called me beautiful instead of hot, who called me back when I hang up on you, who would lie under the stars and listen to my heartbeat, or would stay awake just to watch me sleep... you were the one who kissed my forehead, who wanted to show me off to the world when I was in sweats, who held my hand in front of your friends, who thought I was just as pretty without makeup on. The one who constantly reminded me of how much you loved me and how lucky you were to have me.... The one who turned to his friends and said, 'that's her.'
Author Unknown...
“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”
This is what you were to me.... Everyday that I was lucky enough to hold your hand, to kiss your beautiful face, to hold you so tightly and so close. I miss you so much and wish I could feel you near me forever.
“True Love burns the brightest, but the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.”
It hurts so much, but it's okay.. I know it's suppose to. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Love you so much... Paula
3 months have passed....
3 months, 10 years, 5 minutes.... it feels like you were never here, it feels like you were always here. I remember so many things that I loved about you. Everyday, I think about the things we did together. I think about the way you used to hug me in the morning, the way you used to hug me when I got home at night and the way you used to look at me. I remember how sweet it sounded when you said I love you, Paula. I can still hear you saying that to me. I can hear you saying so many things to me. Like it was just 5 minutes ago. I miss you so much Nels. I will always love you like I have never loved anyone else ever in my life and I will always look forward to the day when I see you again, when I can feel your arms around me again. I know that when I am finished with what I came here to do, you will be the first person I see in heaven. With your beautiful golden wings, your beautiful golden hair, your beautiful blue eyes and that smile. I will know that I am home, because i will be with the only soul that I have ever felt at home with. I am missing you so very much on this 3rd anniversary without you. I love you and I hope you can hear my tears for you. Please rest in peace, fill your heart with the love that will always be here for you. If you ever need me, I am here, I will always be here.... Please remember how much I love you. I love you so much, and I will always remember what you meant to me and the way you changed my life forever. Until we meet again... You have my heart.
Hugs, kisses, and tears, Paula
Beyond the Sea
Thank you Nels, for the beautiful tribute to our first 2 years together... You couldn't have sent a more clear picture to me than the one you did this morning. Just so that others know that may be reading this tribute, I got the most beautiful anniversary gift this morning from my darling. One of my co-workers came down the hallway towards my desk this morning singing a much familiar tune with a passion like I have never heard in this mans voice... He was singing Beyond the Sea, by Bobby Darin.....
Somewhere beyond the sea,
Somewhere, waiting for me,
My lover stands on golden sands
And watches the ships that go sailing;
Somewhere beyond the sea,
She's there watching for me.
If I could fly like birds on high,
Then straight to her arms I'd go sailing.
It's far beyond a star,
It's near beyond the moon,
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon.
We'll meet beyond the shore,
We'll kiss just as before.
Happy we'll be beyond the sea,
And never again I'll go sailing!
Nels only played one CD with various artists in his car all the time that I knew him, I used to hope for the thing to be so worn out that he would have to replace it with something different, because I listened to it so many time over. One of the songs that was on the CD was the Frank Sinatra version of the above song. When the song would start playing, Nels would roll down the windows, turn up the volume and start singing the song to me like he wrote it for me himself. He would smile and sing it and then pull over to the side of the road and kiss me when it was over. It was cute the first time, and the second and the third... sometimes it would make me laugh and sometimes it would embarrass the hell out of me. One thing for sure he loved singing that song to me and oh how the memory will forever live in my heart.
Today, would have been the 2 year anniversary of the first time we ever saw the others smiling face. March 13, was the actual day we met in person, but we exchanged a few emails and pictures during the first few days of coming in contact with each other. So many things in my life have changed for the positive because you were here with me, for me, loving me. You always made me laugh and smile. You would never have my phony smile, you only wanted the real one and you always knew the difference. Your eyes would always light up when I walked in the room, weather I had rollers in my hair or the makeup on my face from last night. None of the surface stuff ever mattered to you, you always saw the beneath it. I often wonder how I will ever be able to live the rest of my life without seeing your beautiful smile and feeling your arms around me. I know that you would never have taken them from me if the choice was yours to make. You made me the happiest woman in the world and when I think of what it means to have someone seriously love you for real, your face always comes to my mind. The things you do to have me know that you are still here loving me takes my breath at times. I hope that you know from the bottom of my heart that I will never take any of those little messages for granted. I know they are heaven sent from the beautiful man that I will always love named Nels.
I love you and I always will.... Keep singing and I'll keep smiling :-)
Paula
Set Your Spirit Free
An unforgettable 65 days have passed... If anyone had told me that I would be able to exist beyond the first 3, I would have never believed them. It's amazing, the amount of strength you can find within yourself when there is no other alternative but to be strong. The concept of time that you used to always tell me about suddenly is becoming more and more understandable to me and oh how I pray each night that I could just wake up the next morning and find that I had learned the lesson of how precious life is without having had to lose you to finally understand it completely. I am so very hopeful that you have found the bright angels in heaven, and that they are comforting you, allowing you to have the rest that you so desperately need, and opening your heart to the most Divine Love. In my 45 years, I have never met a man who was more deserving of receiving it. Looking back on so many wonderful memories, I wonder if I will ever find another human in this lifetime that I adore as much as I adored you. I know that you have been right here with me, beside me, with your heart wrapped around me and that you will never leave me, Nels. I know that thousands of days will go by and I will still have this very special connection with you that only comes but once in a lifetime. I am so thankful that you kept all of your promises to me and were the man of your word that I always knew you were. You never let me down in life. Please know That I hear you, That I love you, and I will never leave you. Please rest for as long as you need to. You are a master at preservation and commitment; please don't change those aspects of your soul now. The only way that we have a chance of being together again in the afterlife is if you can find a way to shed your connection with this lower plane of consciousness. If you need help, please ask for it. The angels and guides you have all around you are there for you. Use your words and tell them you forgive yourself and the rest will manifest for you in the most beautiful way. You always trusted my heart and my love when you were with me. Please hear the words I am telling you now, Set Your Spirit Free.
I will always love you all the rest of the days of my life.
Paula
you left without a last goodbye;
And all we could do was sit and cry;
Tears they fall like pouring rain;
our hearts are broken and so in much pain,
♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥
we longed to go back to yesterday;
To show we love you some other way;
But now we know we must go on;
For we cant get back now what is gone.
♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥thinking of you valxxx
Coming up on 2 months.. Rest in Peace my beautiful angel...
To the sweetest man I have ever known...
Losing you was truly the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I hope you know how much I love you. Thank you for sending me angels here on earth to help with with your loss. We had the truest form of Love and I thank you so much for that My Darling, Nels. Please know that I will never go to sleep again without praying for your restful much needed sleep. I hope you know that you were so loved here on earth by all that knew you in this life. My heart is so full of gratitude that you got into my car that day in March and that you fell in love with me and my soul the way you did. The time you took in your very short life to have me know true love in the most unconditional form will never be forgotten or taken for granted. You were the light of my life and the love of a lifetime. The memories that I have of our time together will sustain me through anything that comes in life for me. The hardships that I will bare could never measure up to the pain you must have felt in the last minutes you spent alone here on this earth. The struggles you had here in this life will only help you in your spiritual journey.. rest in peace knowing that you did not disappoint me in your leaving the way that you felt you had too. I understand and love you so much more for the choice that you made to finally be free, even if it left you with more sadness. You are and will always be the warrior sparrow that I knew and loved so much. Sweet dreams my darling. Go to the angels and know that your salvation is waiting in their light. I love you and will always be here for you and will be so thankful when my time on earth is done and I can be with my one true love for eternity. Sweet dreams my love.
Paula
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♥ ♰ ♥____________ALWAYS____________♥ ♰ ♥_
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♥ ♰ ♥ JUDE.X ♥ ♰ ♥
Happy Valentine's Day
Happy Valentine's day sweetheart.
It has been 47 days since I last saw your beautiful face. Since you last wrapped your arms around me and told me you loved me. I don't think 47 years could make me forget how very special you made me feel.
This is the second of many holidays to come that will bring sadness to me because you are not here to share them. So many of my fondest memories have been of our firsts... These firsts for me now, are going to probably always be the hardest to remember. I am doing a little better, if we compare how I was a month ago to how I am now. I am trying... for you. I know that you could never be okay with me not being alright, even now that you are no longer here the way you would have wanted to be always.
I have always thought that the kind of love we had couldn't possibly exist.. You came into my life and changed it forever. I know now that not only does it exist.. but no one can ever take it away from me, and it can never be destroyed. I will love you all the rest of the days of my life and long to be with you again in the next one. I am certain that you are my special angel now, I can see you with your beautiful wings of gold, always watching over me and protecting me.
We miss you so very much, I love you, Nels...
Paula
We miss you
Nels you are a very special and unique soul that probably made an impression on everyone you met. With all that you have been through, I am amazed that you always had the most incredibly positive disposition of anyone I have ever met.
We bonded over Happy Bunny and bitching about roommates we didn't like. I made fun of your routine instant chocolate coffee and smoke breaks and you loved my kittie Jammie like she was your little Snow Leopard.
We had great, profound conversations while I cooked and you showed me your personal Nordic runes that I will never understand but that in one of your lifetimes you will finally figure out.
You and my boyfriend Tony got along famously because you understood each other and were alot alike. You both have honor, respect and you take care of those you love. You loved Sierra, Tony's dog even though you weren't a dog person. :)
It's shocking to grasp that you are gone, and I can't ever imagine the feeling of desperation you felt that day. Our hearts are with you Nels, and know that you have truly impressed many lives with your bright smile and huge, authentic heart.
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